Financially independent.....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Having just made a new year's resolution along the lines of 'Never being short of money in 2013'  or something along those lines (it's hard to read the crayon I wrote it in) it dawned on me that I made the same resolution last year… fortunately I kept an ongoing record as to how it all went!

January:
Mentioned my resolution of 'becoming financially independent' to a friend who in turn introduced me to 'Bob' who had a business proposal for me.  Bob was a really nice guy who said he has a very exciting multi-level network business - something called Golden Way or Amgold. - which he was hoping to expand in this area, and I was the perfect person to join up with him. 

He showed me a whole plan with some very impressive graphs and circles and explained that once I had 'bought in' (at only R1200) I could order a high quality range of household products (created by top scientists from all over the world!) through him. Not only would I score on the discount but I could also persuade others to join, and then they too could become independently wealthy, AND I would get a percentage of their orders.
Thus having become a serious businessman, I decided it was time to drink less beer  Bob said I had to keep my wits about me and always be ready for a sale.

February: 
Decided to postpone my beer cut backs whilst I grew my new business  This after Bob told me to make a list of absolutely everyone I knew and how I could get hold of them to persuade them to join The Business, and I discovered that  'at the pub' was the most common answer in the second column.    I laid down serious ground work for my new venture, investing in a round for the whole pub on condition they promised to come back the following Monday night to listen to Bob explain The Plan.  

Fortunately they all accepted and I could sense they were all excited about becoming independently wealthy.

Unfortunately something came up and none of them pitched . 

Bob said not to worry  no-shows by 'entrepreneurial cowards' sometimes happened in The Business. I found it amazing that 47 out of 47 people wanted to remain 'shackled to their 9 to 5 existence'. How narrow-minded are they?

March: Started the month receiving an exciting call.  Bob said he had just received delivery of a whole batch of motivational recordings about The Business ALL THE WAY FROM HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES IN AMERICA! And that I was the first person that came to mind when he thought of how he could use them strategically to grow The Business.  He said that R300 for each of the four CDs was a small investment on the rest of my life and that one day I'd look back and chuckle at such a tiny amount.

Bob also reminded me that I still had to pay for my product order (a tube of toothpaste) otherwise I might lose the 15% discount (that's R17.50! Wow these guys are generous!). 

April:
GOT MY FIRST SALE!  Bob was mightily impressed and said that now I was on a roll the sky would be the limit.  I did explain to him that it was my son who had ordered the product (a bottle of top quality sun block, designed by top dermatologists from all over the world)  and that it had been on condition that I lent him the R125 for it and an extra R35 for tobacco, but Bob said it was a brilliant sign that my family wanted to be part of The Business, and that as I was going to get 15% back it really was a win-win deal.

May:
So excited! Went to Cape Town with Bob (actually he came with me in my car - I think his must be getting serviced) and attended my first conference for The Business. I came back really motivated, especially after hearing the guest speakers - an Australian couple who described how they had gone from broke chicken farmers to multi millionaires in just two years, thanks to GoldAm! Luckily I had Mrs Ed's credit card with me, so I could bring back an armload of their motivational cds.

 In typical fashion Mrs Ed flipped her lid. Somehow she thought I had said I was going to Cape Town to buy a new washing machine? (I really must get her ears checked!)

June:
My toothpaste order finally arrived!  On the 50km drive to George to fetch it at Bob's flat I explained to Mrs Ed (ever the skeptic) that though it was rather expensive,  the toothpaste had been formulated by top orthodontists from all over the world so it was only necessary to use a small blob every morning:- in reality we would save money!

I must say the dim woman has battled to grasp the whole multi-level marketing concept, even though I have pointed out that the more expensive the product the more money we got from the 15% discount.  No sign of my son's sun block though.  I hope it comes before his next vac because he's been murmuring about a refund for a while now.
 
July: 
Mrs Ed continued to throw tantrums about The Business.  So much so that I considered disowning her once I was independently wealthy.  I guess she got tired of waiting, but we were so close to being able to afford a box of the special Amgold Washing Powder, formulated by top laundrapologists  from all over the world, that I could almost feel the added patent fabric-softening ingredient on my skin.  What's more the 15% discount would save us no less than R47.50!  

Bob phoned almost every second day to ask if I had prospects. If I didn't know better I would say he sounded desperate.  I explained that it would probably be easier for me to convince people to join The Business once I could launder my shirts, as even the bar staff had started to steer clear of me.

August: 
Frustrated. I should have already been on 'Diamond Status' in The Business, and totally independently wealthy, not sure what went wrong.  In desperation I spoke to my brother in UK about Amgold, but he called it a pyramid scheme.  Using my handy sales 'Cue Cards for FAQs' (which Bob had sold me for onlyR95.00) (less 15% of course) I explained it was 'multi level marketing' but then my brother said that I should look out on the Discovery channel for the ancient 'multi level markets' in Egypt.  Not sure what he meant but I'm hoping that he is leaning towards 'Yes' so I can open my international down-line. (That's Amgold's tech-talk for business partner)

September:
Got a 'Please call me' from Bob. He said more motivational CDs had arrived so I  pretended I was going to buy groceries and hitch-hiked to George to fetch them.  Bob's looking a bit sickly, poor guy  probably the stress of being independently wealthy! He handed me a whole bundle of CDs and said he had every faith that I was on the verge of a major break-through.  Not sure how strong that faith is, though, because when I said I only had enough cash for one CD he took the rest away. Actually 'snatched' would be a better word. 

October:
My son has demanded a full refund for his sunblock, so now I'm even more broke. Mrs Ed announced that she's taken on an extra job so we can get the electricity reconnected.  When I said that one day we would look back and laugh, just like the Australian couple, I think she threw something at me -  well something made the candles flicker.  It's not easy because now I have to go to a friend's to listen to my motivational cds.

November:
Bob called to tell me to be sure to get my Christmas orders AND payments  in on time to avoid the rush. He said that this time of the year was a win-win situation because the huge increase in product orders meant more money back via the discount system.  It was strange because I heard beeping, as if he was calling from a pay-phone, and it sounded a bit like he was reading directly from a cue card, except the part about it being best to pay cash to make things flow more quickly  then it sounded like he was crying.   I found myself wishing the darn toothpaste would finish so I  could put in another order.

December: 
I came up with a brilliant plan and made Amgold gift vouchers for my entire family for Christmas. Actually it's cheating a bit because if I had had the money  I could have bought proper ones through Bob, (at only R10 each, plus the value of the voucher, plus a R65 per voucher handling fee). Anyway, according to Vodacom AND Telkom, Bob's numbers no longer exist.  

So excited - I've worked  out that if everyone uses his or her voucher to choose a gift, when I order it all I will score no less than  R759 in discounts!
Enough to cover my son's book fees for college in 2013!
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